Divorce Sucks ( I Belabor the Obvious)..

Been arguing with my ex-husband all day back and forth through email.
Actually, note - I think couples are a lot better off thanks to email, these days.
A lot of couples like us, who can't talk to each other without winding up fighting,
are able to use email as a form of constructive communication.
Most of the time my ex and I don't fight in email, but today I said some things that
I had been holding back on for awhile now. I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't hold
back, I had to spew or I'd never stop dwelling on the specific things! I was tormented
in my mind! And as bad as it was, I feel better for having said the things I did today.


Damn, divorce sucks. I never had any experience with it, other than my friend's
parents and my ex -husband's parents.
And now I know!!! Now I know how it hurts, and I feel joined to humanity in my
pain, in a way that I never did before. I found in the midst of my tears and sorrow
that a lot of people had gone through the same experience, and it was a genuinely
mind-blowing revelation for me. You see, I'd never had my heart broken before.
And it about killed me.


How do people find the courage to love again? After going through heartbreak
and utter devastation like that. Amazing. Human beings are amazing for many
reasons, but this is really the bravest thing to me. Loving again after something
like that. Being brave enough to love again.
Yep, people are amazing. And cruel and kind, and terrible and wonderful, and ugly
and beautiful. We are all these things, and more.
But when I think about how brave people are about love, I am truly impressed.


Maybe it's the loneliness, people get so lonely that they try again even if it's risky
and scary. It's still brave, in my mind. I think it was
Descartes that said " Love is the noblest frailty of the mind"
I always agreed with that sentiment.
But love is also the bravest act of the mind.