Can't Go Out Tonight...

I guess I might be in a wee bit of a bad mood, because I was
supposed to go Kareoke tonight, T had asked me if I was going tonight.
Said that he and a few other musicians that I'd met last night were all going.
That's where I met him in the 1st place.

But it sucks because I just can't afford it! I really DO want to go, but
I'm too poor!
Oh, people might buy me drinks, sometimes they do already
as it is. But I wouldn't want to count on that, make people feel obligated
to do it in any way! I'm too proud and too shy to say. " I don't have the money
to go."
Ah, well. I should just be satisfied with last night, although I hope he doesn't
think I'm being rude or anti-social for not showing up tonight! I'm just not one
of those women that can freely walk up to any guy and say " Buy a girl a drink?"

I'm too unsure of the whole bar scene. Not really a bar-fly.
Don't know the etiquette, whatever.
In fact,
Last week or the week before, this guy was really
bothering me. Really bothering me. As soon as I walked in. He
was getting on my nerves so bad! For one thing, he was wearing a dirty white T-shirt,
and equally dirty jeans. No one was dressed so badly, so unclean looking, as this guy.
He must've come there from work, or an maybe an alley somewhere.
But to make it worse, he trying to pick me up but being really forceful about it and not taking
no for an answer. I wound up talking to this guy quite a bit, just in telling him No, I don't
want to sit with you, No, I have my own group of people over there, No I don't want a drink,
No!! I was nice about it, but damn!
I had to keep saying those things over and over (and over)!
I was
trying to walk past him, into the bar. I finally made it away to my friends, and
Steve the bartender came over a minute later with a drink and said, " Do you want this? It's from that guy."
He had just seen the whole exchange. He looked disgusted, like he didn't want to ask.. I said "Tell him No thank you, I'm sorry."
This guy was already so horrible, accepting a drink would've been a nightmarish mistake.

Anyway, I'm staying home tonight. Lame! So very lame!