Something Weird That Happened Recently...
It's funny, the kinds of weird things that can happen when no one is around.
When you see things or experience things that you wish you had a witness for.
I can remember things that other people have told me, things that they'd
wished others had seen, and I believed what they were telling me.
Example:
Cool Cholo guy that lived over in Logan Heights, was walking home one night,
it was dark, and he was already on guard. If you know where this is, you'd
understand why he was on guard.
He's crossing the street, kinda buzzed, mellow homie dude. So he's crossing the street, and he
sees a dog standing on the corner. A pit bull, a scary looking dog, just standing there. It's on the loose. It appears to have something, a toy in it's mouth. Just standing there.
He gives it a wide path, keeps walking, passes the dog. The dog was growling a little, like he thought the guy wanted to take the toy away from it.
Now, he told us that he was stoned, so we knew that. So it made sense when he said :
" I dunno, I saw the dog and what he had in his mouth, but it didn't register until it ran away,
it was like my brain wasn't getting it. What was in the dogs mouth
was a giant rubber dildo. One of those foot long giant black double- headed dildos.
And no one was around to see it! I swear this is true!"
Yep, I believed the dude when he told us this. A co-worker from a way long time ago.
I, too, had an odd incident involving an animal with something in it's mouth. I think
that's what precipitated that conversation, in the first place. The animals-with -weird-things-in-their-mouths topic.
I was sitting and watching some birds, having a peaceful moment, trees, grass, birds.
I had actually had a couple of odd bird experiences here. I wished I'd had a camera of
some sort for them.
Example:
I'm looking on, enjoying the smell of the air and rustling of the leaves in the trees
in the breeze, and a little bird lands in front of me. A cute little bird, I believe he is
a finch of some kind.
A feisty, brave little thing! Why do I think he's feisty? I guess it's because he had a bright orange mohawk on the top of his little head, a luxurious mane of bright orange hair. A small, solid grayish colored bird, standing in front of me. Now, I needed glasses at this time, and I remember that it took me a minute to focus in and see that he also had a party favor in his little beak!
I am not kidding you!
A tiny bird with bright orange mohawk and a party favor in his beak landed in front of me. And was looking at me. It was one of those party favors that is a noisemaker and has the silver tinsel strands and is a plastic
whistle sort of thing. It doesn't make a whistling noise, it actually makes a sort of horn noise,
and you blow them on New Years, etc.
I used to keep a bunch of them at my first apartment, and when we were partying and
listening to stuff like " 21st Century Schizoid Man " by King Crimson, I'd pull these out to use for the long Mission Impossible jam.
Anyway, the bird sat and looked at me, I looked at him, wished I'd had a camera, and he
flew away.
I was a little upset, because I felt if I tried to tell someone what I'd seen, they wouldn't believe
me. I've had quite a few experiences in my life that were like that.
I later saw the same kind of bird, sans tinsel horn, and I also realize the logical explanation
is that birds DO like shiny things, and DO collect shiny things. That was a total score for that
little birdie, I'm sure. He probably stopped on his way home when he saw me sitting there,
to see if I had any food to share.
So yes, there is a valid explanation. A little bird with an orange dayglo mohawak and a silver
party noisemaker in it's little beak landed in front of me, I swear. : )
But I still haven't even gotten to the recent freak accident that happened to me, just a minor thing. I believe I may have given myself a home lobotomy, lol.
Actually, this story may not be for squeamish people. This is hilarious, but
it IS rather um, how do I describe it? I know.
It would've made excellent footage to go around in people's emails, kinda jackass style.
Like how some dude will eat pavement while skateboarding, and break his arm in sort
sort of socket- defying angle, and everyone says " SIIICK!"
What happened to me recently was a little like that. Oh, I'm fine, but I could've been
reeaally messed up. No broken bones, but this had the potential to be a lot worse than
a broken arm. Almost
was.
I didn't really give myself a home lobotomy, obviously. But it was damned close.
I was actually sposed to go to the hospital, lol, but I didn't. I was actually in such shock that I couldn't drive, I'd just lost an alarming amount
of blood.
I just basically waited to see if I was ok, I felt ok, so I didn't go. But damn, this is a gnarly
story.
It's funny, sitting here and thinking about this incident, and the blood, and going
total recall about it, made me start feeling a little dizzy. I am feeling dizzy right at this moment.
I should take a break.
When you see things or experience things that you wish you had a witness for.
I can remember things that other people have told me, things that they'd
wished others had seen, and I believed what they were telling me.
Example:
Cool Cholo guy that lived over in Logan Heights, was walking home one night,
it was dark, and he was already on guard. If you know where this is, you'd
understand why he was on guard.
He's crossing the street, kinda buzzed, mellow homie dude. So he's crossing the street, and he
sees a dog standing on the corner. A pit bull, a scary looking dog, just standing there. It's on the loose. It appears to have something, a toy in it's mouth. Just standing there.
He gives it a wide path, keeps walking, passes the dog. The dog was growling a little, like he thought the guy wanted to take the toy away from it.
Now, he told us that he was stoned, so we knew that. So it made sense when he said :
" I dunno, I saw the dog and what he had in his mouth, but it didn't register until it ran away,
it was like my brain wasn't getting it. What was in the dogs mouth
was a giant rubber dildo. One of those foot long giant black double- headed dildos.
And no one was around to see it! I swear this is true!"
Yep, I believed the dude when he told us this. A co-worker from a way long time ago.
I, too, had an odd incident involving an animal with something in it's mouth. I think
that's what precipitated that conversation, in the first place. The animals-with -weird-things-in-their-mouths topic.
I was sitting and watching some birds, having a peaceful moment, trees, grass, birds.
I had actually had a couple of odd bird experiences here. I wished I'd had a camera of
some sort for them.
Example:
I'm looking on, enjoying the smell of the air and rustling of the leaves in the trees
in the breeze, and a little bird lands in front of me. A cute little bird, I believe he is
a finch of some kind.
A feisty, brave little thing! Why do I think he's feisty? I guess it's because he had a bright orange mohawk on the top of his little head, a luxurious mane of bright orange hair. A small, solid grayish colored bird, standing in front of me. Now, I needed glasses at this time, and I remember that it took me a minute to focus in and see that he also had a party favor in his little beak!
I am not kidding you!
A tiny bird with bright orange mohawk and a party favor in his beak landed in front of me. And was looking at me. It was one of those party favors that is a noisemaker and has the silver tinsel strands and is a plastic
whistle sort of thing. It doesn't make a whistling noise, it actually makes a sort of horn noise,
and you blow them on New Years, etc.
I used to keep a bunch of them at my first apartment, and when we were partying and
listening to stuff like " 21st Century Schizoid Man " by King Crimson, I'd pull these out to use for the long Mission Impossible jam.
Anyway, the bird sat and looked at me, I looked at him, wished I'd had a camera, and he
flew away.
I was a little upset, because I felt if I tried to tell someone what I'd seen, they wouldn't believe
me. I've had quite a few experiences in my life that were like that.
I later saw the same kind of bird, sans tinsel horn, and I also realize the logical explanation
is that birds DO like shiny things, and DO collect shiny things. That was a total score for that
little birdie, I'm sure. He probably stopped on his way home when he saw me sitting there,
to see if I had any food to share.
So yes, there is a valid explanation. A little bird with an orange dayglo mohawak and a silver
party noisemaker in it's little beak landed in front of me, I swear. : )
But I still haven't even gotten to the recent freak accident that happened to me, just a minor thing. I believe I may have given myself a home lobotomy, lol.
Actually, this story may not be for squeamish people. This is hilarious, but
it IS rather um, how do I describe it? I know.
It would've made excellent footage to go around in people's emails, kinda jackass style.
Like how some dude will eat pavement while skateboarding, and break his arm in sort
sort of socket- defying angle, and everyone says " SIIICK!"
What happened to me recently was a little like that. Oh, I'm fine, but I could've been
reeaally messed up. No broken bones, but this had the potential to be a lot worse than
a broken arm. Almost
was.
I didn't really give myself a home lobotomy, obviously. But it was damned close.
I was actually sposed to go to the hospital, lol, but I didn't. I was actually in such shock that I couldn't drive, I'd just lost an alarming amount
of blood.
I just basically waited to see if I was ok, I felt ok, so I didn't go. But damn, this is a gnarly
story.
It's funny, sitting here and thinking about this incident, and the blood, and going
total recall about it, made me start feeling a little dizzy. I am feeling dizzy right at this moment.
I should take a break.
posted by Nabonidus at 1:52 PM
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