Destiny, Fate...

I'm very much living by what the Universe is trying to tell me, these
days. I think the Universe sends us neon signs, and it's up to us to see
and read those signs.
And sometimes when we don't see the signs, it will interject happenings to force the point.
Such as my strings going dead yesterday...
I didn't realize just how terrible my strings sounded, until my new ones were on there.
And I realized that I did not in fact want to be showing up anywhere and jamming with
those wrecks on there! But I was going to, because I didn't know any better.
The issue was forced by the strings choosing yesterday to die. Such a timely
message. It was like a message from the Universe. We aren't letting you go out with
those poor excuses for strings.

That's how all this stuff has been happening, anyway. Kareoke led to something,
which led to something else, etc. So much of it is fated, and coincidental.

Kareoke and the responses I got reminded me that I used to have a whole different life before
I got married. I had a friend, he owned a reeaally nice home studio. There was a picture
of him on the wall shaking hands with Nixon, at the White House. He'd played with
his band at the White House. Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. My friend was the guitarist.
This is a painful subject. I miss him.
So
Mike had found out that I could sing. And he starting teaching me guitar. One of the things he
also did was bring me over to A.'s compound. A. isn't his real name. He actually didn't go
by his real name, officially. I knew his real name. A is his middle name.
Anyway, A. was quite taken with me, and I was taken with him, we became genuine friends.
I wound up doing a lot of "work" for him, it was fun. He looked like Frank Zappa. Long hair, etc.
Had the same kinda twinkle in his eye.

One day he said that MTV was doing a talent audition, and he wanted to make a video
of me to send in. We'd already made a few videos of us jamming. Mike, A and myself. It was in the 80's, at an early point when not everyone had video cameras. Everyone has them now, except for me.
So A was going to send it in, except that he got sicker. He was ill, and had been since before
I'd met him. I'm not sure if I should talk about this. I'm already starting to tear up a little.
Anyway, he got more ill and passed away.
I could weep if I think about this, because he taught me so much. What a true professional
musician is supposed to be, how they are supposed to conduct themselves. To respect other musicians.
If you screw up, keep playing, don't stop. Be on time.
I was just a kid, but he knew I had genuine talent, and he was teaching me important music life
lessons. They seem like such simple things to know, but like I said, I was just a kid and it was new to me.

This all hurts partly because Mike died earlier this year.He was the other music teacher, mentor
in my life. And now I've lost them both. :(
I loved both of them, and they loved me.
A. died, Mike took it badly, I went away and got married. I was married for a long, long time.
And that's where I'm at now, trying to recover my musical life, trying to remember that I
had that whole life before my husband. Mike and I stayed friends, but I didn't see him very often, obviously. And now he's gone.

Anyway, the Universe seems to be telling me: Get back to your music.