Torturous Questions...
My ex doesn't understand that my questions don't have
anything to do with his life now. There are certain questions I have
with regards to the marriage, but not about today. I don't want to
know what he's doing today. If I DO think about what he's
doing in his private life, I begin to think of him as being a scumbag,
bag O' pus, pathetic weirdo. Fucking idiot.
So I try not to think about his private life.
But an awful lot of money disappeared in our marriage. That's where my questions
come from. What happened? I was so trusting. I never checked the mail,
never asked questions. Trusted him completely. And now I am in financial
trouble. And he makes it sound like HE'S in financial trouble. All this
debt and financial trouble. When we didn't even have kids or own a house
or anything, and he made a good amount of money, I can tell you. Kept that a secret, too.
I brought in some money monthly, but not nearly as much. This made him hate me.
He refused to buy a house with me. Refused to even buy a nice car for himself.
You know why? He was planning for the day that he would divorce me,
and I never knew it. Turns out that he didn't want to share anything in the split.
It's funny because in our marriage, he never referred to the money as "our" money.
It was all his money, including what little I brought in, which he considered to be no money.
We had no furniture, nothing.
He was planning it all along. He must have secretly hated me, and I never knew it.
Thus my questions. I found out I owe money to the California Franchise Tax board,
and I don't even know why. I've found disturbing receipts a' plenty in our garage, including
one that is a money transfer overseas. Gifts to other women, though he started to yell
and get mad, when he thought I'd bought a magazine.
Turned out it was a 10 year old magazine. He'd just spent a 1000 bucks that I know about,
on diamond rings and gold necklaces for a co-worker. I found the receipts. Ring size 5. My ring size is 7.
Closure? What's that?
I have too many questions going unanswered, as I sit here in debt, and in emotional pain.
Sometimes I feel like I hate him now. I still kind of love him, but that is based on a lie.
I don't even have a lawyer because I'm scared of him. .
anything to do with his life now. There are certain questions I have
with regards to the marriage, but not about today. I don't want to
know what he's doing today. If I DO think about what he's
doing in his private life, I begin to think of him as being a scumbag,
bag O' pus, pathetic weirdo. Fucking idiot.
So I try not to think about his private life.
But an awful lot of money disappeared in our marriage. That's where my questions
come from. What happened? I was so trusting. I never checked the mail,
never asked questions. Trusted him completely. And now I am in financial
trouble. And he makes it sound like HE'S in financial trouble. All this
debt and financial trouble. When we didn't even have kids or own a house
or anything, and he made a good amount of money, I can tell you. Kept that a secret, too.
I brought in some money monthly, but not nearly as much. This made him hate me.
He refused to buy a house with me. Refused to even buy a nice car for himself.
You know why? He was planning for the day that he would divorce me,
and I never knew it. Turns out that he didn't want to share anything in the split.
It's funny because in our marriage, he never referred to the money as "our" money.
It was all his money, including what little I brought in, which he considered to be no money.
We had no furniture, nothing.
He was planning it all along. He must have secretly hated me, and I never knew it.
Thus my questions. I found out I owe money to the California Franchise Tax board,
and I don't even know why. I've found disturbing receipts a' plenty in our garage, including
one that is a money transfer overseas. Gifts to other women, though he started to yell
and get mad, when he thought I'd bought a magazine.
Turned out it was a 10 year old magazine. He'd just spent a 1000 bucks that I know about,
on diamond rings and gold necklaces for a co-worker. I found the receipts. Ring size 5. My ring size is 7.
Closure? What's that?
I have too many questions going unanswered, as I sit here in debt, and in emotional pain.
Sometimes I feel like I hate him now. I still kind of love him, but that is based on a lie.
I don't even have a lawyer because I'm scared of him. .
posted by Nabonidus at 7:52 AM
1 Comments:
Thanks, Billy.
I tried to reply to this yesterday, but it crashed! So I waited to see if it took it anyway, but it didn't.
I was going to say, you notice life is like that? Someone will always have it
worse than you do. Someone will always be uglier than you, prettier than you, worse than you, better than you. Poorer than you, richer than you.
I've used the actor Christopher Reeves to make me feel like my life isn't so bad. Look at how that guy had everything, fame, fortune, etc.
And then look what happened to him!
But look at how he dealt with it.
He could've gotten one of his friends or loved ones to kill him, put him out of his misery. Assisted suicide. But he
took what happened and made the best of it, and lived with dignity.
Helps me to think of people like that when I'm bummed and feeling sorry for myself. We ALWAYS can have it worse than we do.
Maybe he's an extreme example, but sometimes it takes extreme examples, when your life is going really shitty! : )
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