Sunday, December 24, 2006

Trouble Came Calling (Or: Why I am alone again this year...)

Trouble came calling this year in April. When people make jokes about suicide, one can't ignore it.So I didn't, and I helped him to get back on his feet. Fast forward to the end of the year, I gave Trouble his stuff in a black plastic garbage bag after my birthday ( in mid nov.). Clothes, toothbrush, etc.I know it was the right thing to do, but it hurt. It didn't just hurt him, it hurt me. And times like the holidays, it's really hard to be alone. But I'd had to do it. There had been so much hurtful drama since he came back into my life this year. He seems to enjoy hurting me. Playing games.
The past few years have been about ridding my life of toxic people. But as a result, I'm spending Christmas alone again.:(
I had some good times this year. I have to remember that.

13 Comments:

Blogger grace said...

Hi, if someone is enjoying hurting you, whether emotional or physical, it is better to be alone. alone is ok. don't put up with that, it is incredably unhealthy. a friend of mine just rid herself of that type of relationship, and she, as you will, be the better for it. You are a good, decent, compasionate soul, I can tell be the comments you have left on my blog. Celebrate the holidays by being free of hurt. It's about you, and taking care of yourself. Be healthy, and have a peaceful New Year. take care, xxoo Grace

7:48 PM  
Blogger Bri said...

Dear Lisa,

I'm alone tonight too (Christmas Eve), expecting my teenage son pretty soon. I'm sending you hugs, love, and my friendship because I know what you allude to (you are too kind, sometimes, I think, and don't really feel that you can blast this hurtful person here).

You are safe and peaceful tonight.

Lots of love, Brina

8:40 PM  
Blogger Elaine said...

You are not alone. There are people here that are thinking of you and wishing you well. You made the right decision and now you can find someone who is truly deserving of you. You make us proud.

{{{HuG}}}

6:28 AM  
Blogger Bonfire Jones said...

Lisa, In life a tree grows within ourselves. As we grow the tree grows as well. At some point in this ageing process there are some branches on the tree that affect it's growth.

Some branches are dead. Those we cut off. Yet other branches are still 'alive' yet they impair the tree's growth. They make the tree lean the wrong way, cutting the tree off from sunlight.

These branches-if left uncut- will cause the tree to become unhealthy.

So we sometimes must cut branches from the tree. To help the tree grow to it's fullest.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Ed

10:22 AM  
Blogger Gary said...

Hi Lisa,
hope you are ok. The holidays are a tough time to be on your own. Have been there. You're better off without him though, anyone who enjoys hurting and toying with you does not deserve you. You will meet somebody who does deserve you.

:-)

Best wishes for a Happy New Year!

10:17 AM  
Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Lisa,
I really want to say that I appreciate your honesty. I know it's hard; hard to be alone, hard to say goodbye, and hard to be kind to yourself.
But, it is better to be alone, to say goodbye to heartache and it will be easier to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself, as you would want others to treat you. You deserve the best, don't forget that!!!

;)

7:25 PM  
Blogger ginab said...

It is hard to be alone this time of year for some reason most especially, but I think it's even worse to be alone in a relationship every day. You're alright, sound in your heart, and by no means are you truly alone. Lots of hugs and well wishes are here for sure (and apologies from me for being off line for a few days!).

Wishing you strength, peace and prosperity for the new year,

-ginab+bb

4:14 PM  
Blogger Ticharu said...

Christmas was hard for us too, even though we are together and happy, we are so poor there were no gifts, no tree, no special meal. It was kind of a drag. Better than being alone though.
I remember last year, you were all dragged out around Christmas too. It's a tuff time of year. Hopefully we can all bounce back for another go round in 2007.
:)

4:38 PM  
Blogger Nabonidus said...

Thanks everyone.
This is actually the first time I'm blogging since posting this.You all really helped me get through this.
Not that I'm through it yet. It's only the 27th, still technically the holidays.;) ...At least I got dressed today. Made myself go get a coffee drink. I know there's
things to be appreciative of, like all of my friends here. :) xoxoxoxoLisa

5:16 PM  
Blogger ginab said...

So glad you're up and out! Me too, at least on changing out of what probablly became the smelliest sweater! Call it making oneself comfy.

Seems you have some sunshine there and warm temps. Seems only fitting! Lot's to see and yummmm fresh coffee!

our best to you!
-ginab+bb

7:22 PM  
Blogger Mary Beth said...

Yes, remember the good in your life. I know it's hard to be alone at the holidays, but like Grace says, it's better to be alone than with someone who's abusive in any way.

Buy yourself a little something from ulta.com - it'll make you feel better! Then again, shopping is my answer for everything. :)

1:27 PM  
Blogger Fleur de Bee said...

Good for you for letting go and trying to move on. Being alone is a small price to pay for your overall happiness. You are worth so much more than someone trying to rule over you and ruin your life!

I recall our talks a year ago and how much we had in common with the abusive men in our pasts. I worried about you when you let him back in, but it just shows you have a huge heart and are a lovely person! Take that and run with it and treat yourself well because you deserve the best...ALWAYS!! Worked for me and I am pulling for a fantastic 2007 for you!! And everyone else too!

xxMolly

12:35 AM  
Blogger grace said...

Hi! Happy New Year to you, I wish a very healthy, peaceful one for you.

xx Grace

4:13 PM  

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