Sunday, December 24, 2006

Trouble Came Calling (Or: Why I am alone again this year...)

Trouble came calling this year in April. When people make jokes about suicide, one can't ignore it.So I didn't, and I helped him to get back on his feet. Fast forward to the end of the year, I gave Trouble his stuff in a black plastic garbage bag after my birthday ( in mid nov.). Clothes, toothbrush, etc.I know it was the right thing to do, but it hurt. It didn't just hurt him, it hurt me. And times like the holidays, it's really hard to be alone. But I'd had to do it. There had been so much hurtful drama since he came back into my life this year. He seems to enjoy hurting me. Playing games.
The past few years have been about ridding my life of toxic people. But as a result, I'm spending Christmas alone again.:(
I had some good times this year. I have to remember that.

Happy Holidays Everyone

It's Christmas Eve already? Thanks to everyone that has come and given me well-wishes the past couple of days-I have a lot of blogging to catch up on with you!
Christmas is still not the easiest time for me.
It's probably obvious when my blog dies that I'm going through hard times.
But just the past couple of days a bunch of holiday elves and fairies have come by to visit. ;)
It has helped me. Thanks you guys.

Friday, December 08, 2006

10 Things I Would Never Do...

1. Get involved with a married man or someone that is in a known committed relationship. If someone's relationship is going to fall apart with another person, it's going to do so on it's own, not with me as participant in it's destruction. I'll not ever wreck love (or especially a family!)if I can help it.
2. I'll not turn my back on a close friend unless they aren't my friend anymore. Which means that I'll not turn my back on a close friend. They will have had to do something really awful to lose my friendship. I'm loyal to people that I consider to be my friends.
3. I would never torture an animal. I had to amend this because I would kill an animal for food, possibly.Even then, under very specific and harsh circumstances. Otherwise, I'd never kill an animal. So I had to amend this to "I'd never torture an animal."
Because I definitely would never do that. On the hypocritical side of the coin, I would freak out if I ever caught someone torturing an animal. I think I could kill a human being, or at least be violent in certain circumstances if I had to. Actually, If I came home and caught someone killing or torturing MY animals, I could kill them. I probably would try somehow. This isn't a good subject. Let's try to come up with something more cheerful...
4. I won't steal. I never steal, I don't, I won't. Not a thief. And I *HATE* when people have stolen from me, in my life.
5. I would never be disrespectful to the elderly, and I'll not be impolite, in general.
6. I'll never eat ham. Yuck. I once read that it's the closest of meats to resembling human flesh. This only reinforced my revulsion. I do, however, like bacon! And some sausage! Go figure! :)
7. I'll never lie about the big stuff. And I try to never lie. I'll not be dishonest, let's put it that way. :)
8.I would never wear clothes with horizontal stripes on them. No explanation needed.;)
9.I would never say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to their face.
10. I would never say never.;)

*Update on #10. I would never say never- except for 1.,2.,3.,5.
I do stand by those.:)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

More speculation about ghosts...

Well, so I'm wondering about this stuff again. I've questioned whether it could be people on another level of existence.
Here's my new thought: What if ghosts are really what we do when we're dreaming? Like astral projecting. I'm once again theorizing that ghosts aren't dead people. Oh, they are something, but not dead. I think there's clearly something to do with energy, look at my camera phenomena.
What if all these PC's and webcams are giving ghosts a place to go and a way to live? Ghosts in the machine, but literally. I'm sure I'm not the first to question this with the advent of all these PC's. And with the thought that we are pure energy, anyway.
Just something that's on my mind since seeing the camera move and capturing it recently. Otherwise been pretty blah. Heh, I'm blahging right now.

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( unknowingly capturing the movement.)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

My New Guitar (and Ghosty's Re-appearence?)...

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I got distracted while playing part 1 of "In my Time" ( see previous post)I SAW the screen move! Which means I saw the camera move. While I was playing! I am kinda bothered by it,one can see the sudden distraction... and it affects my "performance".
When I paused where it happened, it split screened. You can see it:

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* Note* Thanks to Maria (E.L.) for save screening it for me, I'd been quite rattled last night when I'd emailed her about having witnessed the camera move while I was playing. I swear to you, I saw it. :(
But anyway, thanks Maria for emailing me the jpg, so that now I have posted it for all!