Monday, July 11, 2005

Cool Walmart Incident...

Yes, I shop at bad, evil Walmart, I'm so
awful for contributing to Mom and Pop stores
going out of business. What, like Mom and Pop ain't ripping people
off by price gouging and treating their employees like shit, by skirting a lot
of labor and health laws that apply to bigger business? Ha!

I'm just saying, if Mom and Pop Smith charge 5 bucks for a gallon of milk,
and Walmart charges 3.15, I personally am NOT rich and cannot afford to
pay extra.
You notice it's always the rich people screaming the loudest about Walmart
being bad. Maybe it is, but Mom and Pop businesses are notoriously stingy and
frequently weird or shady, and they ALWAYS charge waaay too much, for everything.
If YOU can afford to pay 500 bucks for a pair of shoes, and I can only afford 50
bucks for shoes ( or less), then quit preachin' to EVERYONE about Walmart being evil.
If Mom and Pop were competitive with their pricing, and were nice, then they could
compete just fine.
And hell, remember, a lot of the Mom's and Pops are just assholes, who will treat you
like a criminal if you try to return something, and are sometimes even perverts.
There IS some protection and benefits for both employees and shoppers of the big
But I wasn't going address this issue.

I was at Walmart today, and I bought a bunch of potting soil and various other things.
A huge bag of soil. I get up to the cashier, it's this tall guy, really jovial and friendly.
He's laughing with another cashier.
The first nice thing that happened was that this employee from nowhere popped up and
started bagging my stuff, and putting it back in my cart. Normally, they have this turnstile thingie with bags, and the cashier bags them and turns the thing and you grab the bag and load
it yourself. So that was nice that I didn't have to do it.
The second nice thing was that they liked these little cacti that I bought, very cute. 3 of them.
He was afraid he'd get stuck. I joked around with them, told them about the Battlebot cactus and then I noticed my bag of potting soil. The girl was
putting all the bags on top of it, but I knew they hadn't scanned it. I was going to get it for free.
So I pondered the idea, and knew I couldn't be dishonest, and said kind of shyly " I have to be honest, I don't think you guys scanned the dirt."
So they did scan it, and I was glad. It wasn't like it was that expensive, only about 4 bucks for a huge bag.

And that was it, until I got home and noticed a curious thing :
Now, I had purchased a lot of stuff because I save up everything I need on a list ahead of time and then get it all at once. Coffee, Paper Towels, Toothpaste, Conditioner. Etc.

I happened to look at the receipt at home, just for the hell of it. And I noticed something very
interesting. He only charged me for about 2/3 of the stuff! Literally, in the middle of the list,
it said " voided entry" and then there were 7 items, but there was 0.00 where the price would
be. The thing is, I checked the total ( by adding everything and subtracting those items), and he definitely didn't charge me for them.
I got a 20 something dollar discount! Wonder if he's going to pull a fast one on the register.
In any case, what a discount... Wow!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Vince Neil Again...

I can't help it, I had to return just to post what
Vince Neil REALLY looks like to me. From the video
I saw earlier today that reveals his new features, tan,
new nose, etc.
He doesn't resemble a ball of dough so much as he does
a big ball of Silly Putty.
Why yes, Vince Neil looks like a big fat ball of Silly Putty
that's been rolled around on the carpet so that it picks up lint
and pubes and other miscellanious micro bits o' crud.

Motley Crue...

On my other blog I made reference to M.C. dying in a plane
crash. I'd had a "vision" of this happening.
Ha, I now realize this was probably wishful thinking on my part!

I've never been a fan. As Motley Crue hauls their
decrepit leather-covered asses around the planet, releasing
odors that resemble songs, they are apparently squeezing out videos
as well.
I just saw a video, couldn't tell you what the name of the odor, er, "song"
I think Mick Mars is probably a corpse, and rigor mortis has set in.
Maybe his guitar is outfitted with some periodic shocking device, to bring
him back to life a' la Frankinstein. " It's Alive!" Just barely.
The weird thing about that guy is that for as long as he has been on the music scene,
by now he should be a much better guitarist than he is. I know how that sounds, but it's true.
He's been playing in bands in LA for what, 40 years? 30?
I mean, he's OK, I guess. He's like Britney Spears of the guitar world,
minus the youth and hot looks.

Vince Neil is like a ball of dough, with a whiny screeching voice and now he has the look that you
frequently see with celebs, the " I have had too much plastic surgery" look. He's
clearly had a nose job, and some sort of vague yet definite other "procedures".
And still, in this day and age they can't seem to invent a surgery that can make him
actually sing.
It's a good thing that they have all the sexy bimbettes gyrating in their videos, it now
serves another purpose - distracts one from the corpse and the doughball.

p.s. Vince is a perfect example of how Karma really CAN get you. Or life throwing
shit at you, either way...
He got away with killing his friend in the 80's, Razzle. But fast forward, years later,
and the universe later took the one thing Vince loved more than anything, his daughter. She
died at a heartbreakingly young age. 3 or 4? Cancer. That's very sad and awful . : (

But I remember when he killed Razzle, and got away with it. Maybe he didn't get away with it after all.

Back to my original point: I still wonder if they are going to get into a Lynyrd Sknyrd
type of plane crash. It felt so real in my mind.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Trapped In The Closet ( parts 1 thru 189)...

I'm just joking around, it's " Trapped In the Closet , parts
1 thru 5. I think.
For those of you who don't know, it's a song, or series of songs,
that R.Kelly just came out with. Normally I don't like R.Kelly's
music, but this is great. I happened to catch the video.

Do you remember story songs of the 70's? My ex and I went on a tangent
one time, got to reminiscing about all the funny, lurid story songs
from the 60's, and 70's, that freaked us out when we were small,
hearing them on the radio.
You notice they kinda faded out? So we started collecting them. Cats in the Cradle.
Daddy Please Don't. Angie Baby. Etc.

Let's see...
, remember "Angie Baby" ? Helen Reddy. I remember being a really
little kid, listening to that in the car, and getting totally creeped out.
Crazy girl likes a boy, sucks him into some weird world, keeps him in her
room? Something like that. It was my Mom that was the bringer of these
songs into our house and car. She loved 'em.
" Daddy Please Don't" , I think this is the story of a young girl and a boy
in love, Dad hates the boy, in a tragic final act, dad accidentally shoots and
kills his daughter, instead of the boy. I believe the final words of the song are
" Daddy please don't ,
we're gonna get ma...rried..." ( she sings it in a faltering, little girls voice).

And on and on. Story songs are frequently so funny, I think unintentionally so .
There's one, by a band called
Bloodrock? " I remember...we were flying along, hit something in the air"
about a mid-air collision. That one was hard core! Wish I could find that one!
The guy is singing about a plane crash, and laying there on the ground, and seeing his
girfriend die right next to him. Yep. Bloodstone? Bloodrock? Damn.

So R.Kelly has re-introduced the story song formula, and it's
Hilarious. Except for the newer twist - the serial song formula.
I actually haven't seen the other parts of T.I.T.C...
In part 1, guy ( R.Kelly) is boinking a woman,
or at least, wakes up from boinking a strange woman, turns out that they are
both married. This is revealed when the woman's husband comes home.
R'Kelly is hiding guess where? In the closet, and what happens? His cell phone
rings. It the story song for the new millenium. Computers and cell phones busting
people in their infidelities.

But it's awesome becauseR.Kelly's cell phone rings, husband hears it, gets up and goes over to
the closet, and that's where part one ends. The first installment of " Trapped in the Closet".
The video made me lol through the whole thing, because
R.Kelly is making funny faces, like when he looks into the camera with "WTF?" expression
while he's hiding you-know-where.
Towards the end it's like he's saying over and over " Trapped in the closet, oooh yeah,
Sweatin' like hell, trapped in the closet, did I mention that I'm trapped in the closet, whoah yeah...Trapped in the closet"... BTW I'm still in the closet..."

So for anyone that wants to chuckle or smile and likes story songs, I'd recommend
checking these out. Like I said, I have yet to hear the other parts ( 2 thru 5?).
Whoooo yeah, trapped in the closet...

Saturday, July 02, 2005

A Wee Bit More Driving In So. Cal...

The reason I'm picking this subject up yet one more time,
is that I remembered the very worst thing I have ever done while
driving. This is so bad. I mean, this is bad. But it's funny, too.
And now that T is mentioned, it helps set up the story.

I was sposed to meet up with everyone at a nice restaraunt in L.A.
I think it's T's birthday. I'm in my white fairmount, I now have a
ford fairmount( I LOVE this car. It's my 1st car. I wash it every weekend.
I think I even wax it every weekend. I know that I haven't given any car
such loving attention since. I even had notes left on that car, guys wanting
to buy it).

So I'm exiting the 101 in my fairmount, I think it's actually Ventura blvd again. I'm exiting the freeway
to go onto Ventura Blvd. But just a few minutes before, I'd suddenly began having
brake problems. Something was going on, my brakes weren't working! Or rather,
they'd work, and then decide not to work, then work again! It was unpredictable!
I was supposed to be following the family to the restaurant, I now remember. So I was
trying to keep up, stay with the car in front of me, but I can't because my brakes
aren't working. A have to slow WAAAAY down, or else I'm in trouble ( when my brakes go out). So
I lose them.
They exit the freeway, I'm heading that way, and no brakes. And I kid you not,
right at the bottom of the exit onto Ventura is a crippled, handicapped person
limping along. Except that they are jaywalking, the light is green, I have the
right of way. Except my brakes aren't working.
This is the worst thing I have done in my car , coming up....

I exit the freeway, " Challenged" guy is jaywalking right in front of me, I try
to avoid him, but I hit him.
Well ok, I "bump" him going about 2 miles an hour. He yells " Hey!"
he's clearly just fine, but I am pissed that he made me hit him, and I flip
him off and keep going.

Yep, I hit a handicapped person, flipped him off, and kept going.
I know, I know. That's so bad. But he wasn't hurt, and what was he doing
jaywalking at a freeway exit? Against the light? It was the way that he was so indignant,
I guess it got to me. And he really wasn't hurt, he didn't even fall down. Don't
jaywalk against the light on freeway exits! Especially if you are slow, and can't run!
But it was so bad, I know. I don't know what gets into me.

More Driving In Southern California...

I learned how to drive late. Late for an American, anyway.
I think I was in my early 20's, it was in the 90's in Los Angeles...

My father -in-law designated himself as the tutor, because my then husband
was trying to teach me, but it wasn't working out ( we kept fighting).. The problem : S was determined that I learn to drive a stickshift, killing two birds with one stone. His valid reasoning is that it's
better to know how to drive a stick. And as for myself, I was just too
overwhelmed by the fact that I was ACTUALLY BEHIND THE WHEEL.
And wha? Here's people coming at me, with their cars! Uh oh, the light is turning YELLOW,
what do I do? Slam on the brakes and stop, or speed up and keep going? Ohnoooooo!
Add to that the fact that we are in LA, and it's packed. PACKED. Cars, people everywhere.
Crazy homeless people darting out in front of you.

So I'm supposed to learn to clutch and shift, too? In the middle of everything else? It's
all so overwhelming!!! I'm skeert! ( maybe had I been taught to drive as a teen, I would have
been stupidly brave. But I was now old enough to realize that people actually die, and it may even be me! So I was afraid)
I think my father- in- law ( T) saw and understood all of this.

One day T came home with a truck. A big truck. An old chevy, I think it was. Green and
white, probably from the 70s. Had 3 or 4 gas tanks. When one would run low, there was a switch on the dash , you could switch it to another tank. Pretty neat. It had a V8, or a straight
8. Really good condition. The thing was like a tank. An automatic.

So it became "My" truck, even though it was really T's. His reasoning was that I could drive
around LA and hit things, bump into things, and not be hurt too much. IOW, I'm protected,
but Watch Out! People of L.A.! New driver in a tank on the loose!

So I have my learner's permit, I'm sposed to be driving around with a licensed driver
overseeing things. Except of course, I'm not. I'm going to work and classes all over LA.
In a funny twist, ignorant co-worker asks me for a ride home, and then over to Hollwood. She quickly realizes her mistake and stops asking me for rides.

This was actually a nice truck, at least, I got admirers. One day I looked out from inside
a thrift shop, and saw many Hispanic men standing all around it, looking at it. I mean, really
looking. Peering in the windows. They weren't being shady, they just liked the truck.
But that was when I realized that people liked it ( I also liked it, but figured that I was sentimental - my first car, sorta).

One time a bunch of kids in a porshe pulled up alongside me, and revved. I looked over, and they were smiling at me, so I revved. The light turned, and we went for it! And that truck
kicked ass! I didn't even know it had that kind of power. The only thing is, one has to be more
careful in a truck. And we were nearing Ventura Blvd, and in fact I was on my way to work.
So I slowed and turned off and left the race. But they knew it was because I had to, and not out of being a chicken. So basically we'd just drag raced on Tampa blvd.. I raced a Porshe.

But the thing is, it was too much power for me, as a new driver. I actually WAS bumping things
and having little scrapes all over the place. But because I'd accidentally discovered the killer power of this
truck ( during that little race), I think it was beyond my skill at the time. And there are so many left turns in LA where you have to dart while it's a red light, because you've sat and had to wait thru the green light for all the oncoming cars to go before you can turn. Those kind of left turns are more dangerous. And they're all over LA, like I said. We don't have as many down here in San Diego, I've noticed.
So there was an incident. The death of the green truck.

It was a rainy day, about 11 am. There had been a pretty good earthquake, just an hour
or so before. It turned out to be a warning quake, the big Northridge quake was coming
soon ( a year later). And this WAS the northridge area, bordering it anyway. We'd just gotten a pretty good jolt. So maybe I was already a little shook.

It was raining hard, I was at one of those awful darting left turns, and I dart, and I begin fishtailing. It's a truck, it can't handle certain movements. I'm now discovering this.
So I'm driving down a sidewalk. Um, I didn't mention that part? lol
I had turned the corner, lost control, driven onto the sidewalk, and now was weaving in and out
of telephone poles whilst driving down the sidewalk. Just off of Topanga Canyon Blvd.
Since I'm really in panic mode, it's all happening so fast, I hit the gas instead of the brakes,
D'oh! I'm heading towards a Mexican Restaraunt. People see me coming. I hit the brick
wall that is right in front of the place, going what, 45? Not sure, because I'd picked up speed
when I hit the gas driving down the sidewalk. And the speed in the area was 35.

If it wasn't for the little wall, a short brick wall, I'd have plowed right into that restaraunt,
and killed who-knows-who. As it was I could see everyone over the wall, and they could see me. I calmly got out of the truck, and started walking down the street. Like nothing had
I was clearly dazed and confused.
A lady driving by saw me, and even though the people of LA aren't known for stopping to help
people, she stopped, got out, approached me. Said " Uh, I think you should sit down! Are you
ok?" I said " I want to go home". At that point, it was all I wanted, and what I'd been doing, I
was walking home.

Turned out that the reason she stopped was all the blood flowing out of my nose and mouth,
and the fact that with every second, my face was swelling towards something that wound up resembling the moon.
But I didn't know this at the time. I was merely walking home. Behind me is a totaled truck
spewing smoke. Lalala, I'm just walking home ( until the lady stopped and made me go back
to the scene)...

So the cops came, everyone was milling around, including all of the Mexican restaraunt
personnel and customers. It was a big scene.
I was fine, as it turned out. And to my shock, I wasn't even cited! And the cops came to
the hospital and waited to see if I was ok! That was very sweet.
The truck was totaled though, like I said.
But T made a profit off the truck, as it turned out, so that was good.
But I miss that truck. Wish I had it now, except that I'd probably turn into an asshole
driver like the other truck people seem to.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Driving In Southern California...

Let me 1st say that I am not opposed to SUV's and trucks, it's just
odd that so many people have them when they aren't hauling anything
or going off-roading. If I lived out in the desert I'd have one. But for inner-city
driving, it just seems weird! For one thing, the streets are too narrow,
they weren't originally designed for vehicles that are so wide. Or so many
And these soccer mom types really don't seem to know how to drive them.
Guys have the opposite problem. They tend to be aggressive drivers, anyway.
It's even worse when guys have truckes and SUV's. It's like they are suddenly 7 feet
tall with a dick the same size.

The other day a guy came driving up the shoulder, we were on the freeway.
Yes, the freeway. Going about what, 60? 65? We were entering the beach area, so
the freeway exit was coming in about a mile. So there was a line of cars, and I guess
the guy didn't want to wait.
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened to me. But it's funny, because
this guy was such a dick. I HATE these guys that come driving up the bike lane,
or shoulder, and try to usurp a spot, by forcing it. No signal.
The other day this very same scenario. Guy comes up, tries to force it. I'm sposed to hit my brakes and let him go in front of me. I NEVER allow this. Not like this. This is a peeve of
mine. Why are guys such assholes? Driving up the shoulder or bike lane and cutting in by
Except that I never let them, and they get mad. They'll literally be inches from me, on the freeway, threatening to what, ram me? And I don't go for it. I stay put.
Ram me, asshole. Go ahead.
And they eventually DO back off, but they get pissed. And HA! A little scared, maybe?
We just enacted a scene from the French Connection. And I win. I'm too crazy, even for them.
My balls are bigger! And I don't even have balls!
But it's funny because it's always the same. They eventually will come up and look at me, because I think they are curious about such a nut.
And I always give this little smile. LOL. I'm basically saying " yeah, that's right, I AM
crazy. You picked on the wrong bitch today, eh?"
Bully meets lunatic. I get mad about bullies.
Bullies suck.
But as far as not letting people in, I try to normally be polite. But I'm talking about that
particular peeve of the bullying drivers that come up the bike lane or shoulder. And rude
idiots in general.

I need to be careful though. I called this guy a cunt one time ( I'm so embarrassed to be
admitting this, but it's funny) , and I normally would NEVER use that word! Iwas just so mad!
Here's the funny part -the guy was an idiot. A lunatic idiot. So I shouldn't have been saying
anything. That's why I didn't call the police. Because my mouth got me in trouble. This was about 6 months ago.
called me a dumb bitch, I called him a stupid cunt. he said " I'm a guy, you stupid bitch,"
and I said " I meant what I said" Which made him shriek this little shriek of rage! LOL
Except that was when he actually spit on me! But he missed, and he ran away and jumped in his truck and sped off. He'd actually forced me off the road, I'd gotten lost and was in the wrong
place at the wrong time, I guess.
Anyway. I wasn't going to mention that. He apparently thought I was a guy before he forced me off the road and drove up and blocked me off ( I was stuck). I thought he was going to shoot me.

But my point : Even in this tense, scary situation, my mouth got me in more trouble.
But I hate how guys can just do this kind of stuff and get away with it. And I wasn't going to just
take it without telling the guy what I thought of him. My big crime was being lost.
: (
Thinking about that weirdo is putting me in a bad mood. There was more to the story, and I
really SHOULD have called the cops. But I just wanted to get away from the guy ( and I was
basically unharmed, just shaken up).
But then later I discovered all these scratches on my car from where he'd forced me off the road.
A tree, shrub had scratched the side of my car, they are all still there. Had I seen them at the time, I probably would have called. Oh well.
Shit happens. Monkeys throwing poo.