A Real Horror Story...

I can't help but return to the story of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge ( Red Khmer)on a day like today. A night like tonight.For if spirits roam the earth on all Hallow's Eve, then surely the killing fields are active right now...

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Look closely at this pic. It should reveal more details... :(
Bits of lace, buttons, various clothing.
On April 17th, 1975, Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge army rolled into Phnom Penh and began what became a death toll of three million people.A complete and utter bloodbath. He'd begun by declaring, "This is Year Zero," announcing that society was about to be "purified". Men, women, children, elderly were all awakened and pulled from their beds.
A forced march followed...

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This tower is obscene in it's height, the quantity of skulls that it contains...

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Pol Pot and his right hand man Chit Cheun "The Butcher" never paid for this. They died of natural causes.:(
The one good thing that came out of this that I could see was a zest for life, a love of life and a
joy of life that I'd never seen on such a mass level before. The Cambodian people seem to be the happiest people I've ever seen. And Cambodia is on the mend, and is
in fact on the verge of 1st world status. It's getting there. :)

A Few More Pics...

Diamond head and more hotel views...also a sweet little altar.

Oh, Oahu!
Ok, I admit it. I went to Hawaii last weekend. It was an extremely short visit, but we made the most of it. Had an incredible view from our room...

For you, my friends. It's actually the updated version of a song I first came up with last year. You might remember this song. Actually, looking back, I think it was how I felt during TBWHM blogging days. How I tried to think/be.Definitely coming along, getting more polished.:)

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Sudden Musical Development. It's funny, but there's clearly some steps being made in my version of Baba O Reilly. Too long though, 3 minutes. It was spur of the moment progress, caught on tape. :)

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Shocking ( For Me) Weight Development...

Just weighed myself after returning from a trip this weekend.
The official total from when I began dieting several months ago:
37 pounds!Oh My Gawd! This is stunning! This means that I am already 15 pounds thinner than those full-body pics I posted awhile back.
Unfortunately, my face hasn't been looking so good. I realize that I've been looking haggard, older. At least I know why. I haven't been getting enough sleep, food, or water.The lack of water and sleep have been the more damaging factors.Frowning all the time.

I'm happy about losing the 20 that I'd gained last year, plus 15 more. But I can't let it be at the expense of my skin. I've had all these awful spots lately (Rachel calls them spots, I like that.:).
I know I need to lose even more, sure, but I have to really stop the stressing. I swear to you there haven't been drugs or chemicals involved. It's been sadness ,I've been too upset to eat. Depression. :(
I need to get more sleep and drink more water. That alone will help. And it helps to write this stuff out sometimes.

Rachel Fuller....

Rachel Fuller is this really talented woman, she has an amazing voice and plays piano insanely well.But it isn't just that... She's funny, sweet, charming, bright, looks like an angel but drinks, smokes, and curses like the devil. Well ok, I don't think she drinks like the devil unless the devil likes coffee but that's a good thing isn't it?
Anyway, here's her link. She even provides free entertainemnt for you, although you should buy her albums. You won't regret it, I swear:http://www.intheattic.tv/index.cfm

Trying to play my blues away. Looks like it's working, a little. I like how you can capture ideas as they happen with the cams...It's funny because I can imagine someone watching this and saying "um, not quite.I think I see what you're trying to do...ok, now you're getting it. Hey, there you go, you got it!"
I've been using my pinky more these days.
Sorry I look like hell, but it's 11 at night and I've been crying for a couple of days. I've lost a couple more pounds, too. At least that's something positive.
Thank you for caring and being here for me. It means a lot to me.:)

I wish....

I wish I could talk about what I've been going through just the past couple of days. Last night I posted a long,
confusing, mysterious post about things I'm going through. But I erased it. I'm trying to protect the anonymity of someone that doesn't even deserve it.
Let's put it this way: Apparently someone DID come back into my life just to hurt me.
Play games. Lie. Traumatize me.
If I'd known certain things ahead of time, I wouldn't have even answered the phone when he called. I'm Feeling despondent.
Pray for me if you believe. I'm not ok right now. Drunk and depressed aren't good combos, I realize that. I'm not going to do myself in ronight, anyway.
But I need prayers. Someone is trying to hurt me and is succeeding. I couldn't believe xomeone would be so cruel as to come back into my life with the purpose of hurting me.
So I let them in. I thought they needed help, a friend. Turned out to be a game. It's all a game. It's a game now. What's funny is I'm not suppsoed to know certain things that I found out. Yep. I'm supposed to be confused.
I want to enlighten but I can't. I'm so sad right now. :(
I wish I could explain. I found some stuff out yesterday.:(

"Uh yeah, Hi, I'd like to order a pizza to be delivered..."
It wasn't just Happy Pizza. It was Feckin' Ecstatic Pizza!
It was actually really good, too. ;) I loved the sign outside, it drew me in. It was this happy face superimposed over a photo of a pizza. Made me laugh when I saw it, I wish they'd been able to print that on the T-shirts. I bought this T-shirt for about 3 bucks or so.
There's the phone number, if you want to try and get a pizza delivered internationally.:)

Creative Use Of Profile Pics...

I like changing the profile pic often, as you all know. But it's because I like using it as a sort of temperature gauge, or mood ring. An indicator of the current moods.That last one was literally taken saturday night, all's fun, etc. This one is more somber taken Monday, with an odd bluish-green cast that matched what I was feeling when I took the picture.
I wonder if that was my mood captured on film. Because the camera wasn't deliberately set that way, and the rest of the pics didn't come out like that. Not that one can do such a thing without trickery. I swear I didn't. Maybe the software is *ucking up.
Anyhoo.

Inspired...

Got inspired watching the Flaming Lips do a cover of Baba O' Riley. Made me wonder if I could do the little guitar lead thingie. And yet I am confused about the chords to the song.It looked different the way they were playing it.Dunno.
In any case, here's my little guitar blurb that I just came up with. Sloppy, but not bad. Hope it makes ya smile:)
Photo Sharing - - -

Still working on the lead for this one. I do have words for this song, but I'm not happy with them right now. And I actually have trouble playing for extended periods of time because I live in a flight path and it invariably, inevitably cuts me off. Take 3,000 of trying to find a lead:
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"The Pot "

Heard some of the new Tool,I'm digging the words: "Foot in mouth and head up ass, what you talkin' bout?" Could he be talking about Bush? Heheh... From a song called "The Pot". Check it out!
I've heard one other song, called "Vicarious". Both more heavy. But there is a revisiting of that certain feel the last album had.
I give these two songs a thumbs up. Can't speak about the rest of the album. But from what I've heard, new Tool Rocks! :)